If you do it now: You’ll have weeks to think of a perfect, thoughtful present for each of them that they’ll actually enjoy using.
When you’ll actually do it: Ten minutes before you go over to their house when you print out the Amazon page of the DVD of a shitty movie you saw together once and write “On its way! :)” on the printout.
If you do it now: You won’t get sick.
When you’ll actually do it: After you’re already 95% sick, so that you’re effectively just sealing yourself inside a coat-and-blanket-cocoon of germs.
If you do it now: You’ll organize your notes and refresh your memory on key concepts from the first half of the semester.
When you’ll actually do it: The night before the final, when you’ll be convinced that a different person must’ve written those illegible notes from September because it was definitely not you.
If you do it now: There will be a wide selection available at reasonable prices.
When you’ll actually do it: In January, when the only style left in stock is neon purple, furry, and four hundred dollars.
If you do it now: Your skin will be healthy and you won’t gross everyone out by scratching and clawing at your dry elbows all winter.
When you’ll actually do it: Maybe when you’re 40? Definitely 40. You know, once you’re already wrinkled up past recognition.
If you do it now: You’ll know exactly how much you spent this year and be able to maximize your deduction.
When you’ll actually do it: The afternoon of April 15th when you throw away all the receipts you’ve been saving, make your best guesses, and hope you don’t get audited.
If you do it now: People might laugh at you, but at least you’ll have plans for the most stressful party night of the year.
When you’ll actually do it: 10pm on December 31st when you frantically text everyone you know hinting for an invitation to the party they’re going to.
If you do it now: You’ll develop a routine that will help you stay active through the cold winter months.
When you’ll actually do it: Next fall. For real this time. Promise.
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